Flirting is Like Dancing Tango
Flirting is Like Dancing Tango
With each shift of the weight and moment of held breath, I can't help but draw the comparisons between Tango and the Art of Flirting.
I took my first Tango class over a year ago now. I was super excited about it, because up until this point I had little to no experience with partner dance, but I had been drawn to it for years, especially Tango. The way it seemed two people moved as one, improvisational combos felt memorized or intuitively known, it was mesmerizing to me, and I was hungry to learn and experience it.
I joined my classmates in a basement in Brooklyn, where we were met by our teacher - a Turkish born Argentenian Tango aficionado. Teacher was short and lean, eyes focused, soft and to the point. We began with the very basics - shifting our weight. Then, we partnered up: men, the leaders, women, the followers. We as the followers practiced feeling the subtle shifts of weight in our partner. We spend so long during this first class session attuning to the way our partner’s weight would shift so subtly to predict which direction they might move, and therefore move us, as a unit together.
Now, over a year after my first Tango class, with about a dozen Tango lessons under my belt, I can’t help but draw some comparisons between Tango and Flirting.
Just like Tango, at its core, is listening and responding to the shifting weight of your partner’s body and energy, flirting is majorly listening: honing your ability to listen well and respond well. And listening isn’t just conversational listening, but attunement to body language, tone, and energy as well.
In Tango, there is a leader and a follower; a guiding, masculine energy, and an allowing, surrendering feminine energy. Sometimes when I dance Tango, I will even close my eyes completely and surrender to the way my partner will move and guide me, and there is grace in the dancing because there is trust in the polarity. Similar to flirting and attraction in general, studies show that polarities of masculine and feminine energies (not necessarily pertaining to gender) are vital when it comes to attraction. In fact, the larger the polarity, the stronger the attraction can be. Therefore, if you are a man flirting with a woman, for example, being in your masculine energy: the energy of guiding, direction, clarity, confidence is often the polarity you want to be in to land the flirt’s execution.
Tango, at its core, is wildly playful, sensual, and generous. When you find your groove with your tango partner, the way the energies work together to create beautiful movements, shapes, and flow can be incredibly addictive, because the energy of that attunement is so juicy! Our teacher talks about the “Tango high” he experiences when he dances at a Milonga, or Tango social dance. He tells us, when you get good enough at this kind of “listening,” you can attune to a stranger in mere moments and dance beautifully and seemingly effortlessly with them. I would argue finding your flow in flirting with a willing counterpart leaves one with the same feeling of playfulness, conversational generosity and flow.
All in all, when you can practice and hone your ability to flirt well, you expand your capacity for listening, play, and romantic connection. If you’re struggling to feel free and confident in your flirting skills, here are some options for you:
Contact us at We Clicked to inquire about mock dates, coaching, or other date services to support you on your journey!
To add to your dating toolkit, I will soon have a Free Guide available for download with Flirting Tips and Tricks and How to Have More Meaningful Conversations on Dates
Or, take a Tango Class! (No, I’m serious - take a tango class, and watch how it transforms your relationship with connecting and being in play with another!)